Does Texting Enable Make-Believe Relationships?

posted by portent interactive on 05/23/08 11:44 AM | category:

I'm inclined to go with "yes," but I'm a little biased right now, having just gotten out of a long-distance relationship that relied heavily on the medium.

Erin Flaherty's recent blog post on Shine got me a little bit out on my funk, though. It was nice to know I wasn't the only super-stressed, workaholic singleton penciling in bite-sized emotional connections as an actual romantic strategy. Sure, texting can be hot and harmless in healthy ways, but it's also a dangerous enabler for those of us career-women in our late 20s who don't have time to waste dating men who aren't sure what they want. You can have the comfort of knowing someone is thinking about you, but don't have to make the time commitment or expose yourself in all your bad-hair-day-chin-zit glory when you're feeling less than confident. And you can feel like you're making progress in your love life for a minimal amount of effort. (**Note: Minimal effort for maximum results is a great strategy at the office, but doesn't exactly have the same effects in love.)

Taking a step back, it's shocking how we can build so much up and tear it down when our little thumbs are in a texting frenzy. My relationship felt real, and I arguably cared about this boyfriend more than I have any of the others who were actually around in person. I don't think we would have been able to connect the way we did if we didn't have the option to send each other sweet little zingers throughout the day. But it's definitely not the same as connecting in person or talking on the phone, and I'm convinced that it's becoming the lazy man's lame excuse for intimacy.

We're polling our True Hook Up Confessions readers for their stories, too. Vote here and share your experiences.

- The Editor

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